Saturday, December 1, 2012

McSteamy vs. McDreamy

           Watching sexy doctor shows is personally my favorite pastime. The medical cases are often very extreme, rare, and particularly intriguing treatments. But what truly makes these shows rock are the crazy love conflicts, which are clearly necessary for the success of these shows. The amount of people not resting and getting laid in the on-call room is alarming/awesome.
            But in retrospect, most of these characters’ lives suck. Their friends, family, partners, and eventually they die. The absolute worst-case scenarios happen to them. And now you’re probably thinking, this has to happen for people to watch. But isn’t it kind of sick that we have to see the twist and turns of some emotionally damaged doctor to be entertained. I mean don’t feel too bad for them; they look like they have very active and thriving sex lives. Even the “virgin” in Grey’s Anatomy is having sex!
            Although these shows are my guilty pleasure, they also drive me to frustration. My doctor is not nearly as attractive as Patrick Dempsey or Eric Dane (still grieving over Mark’s death). My pediatrician is kind of old, and has really cold hands. And yes, I still go to the pediatrician! I’m only sixteen and I plan to enjoy my last years with my pediatrician, even if he hates me, which he does. Why not go to the pediatrician if you’re under eighteen years old? If you’re older than that, you’ll be pushing it.  
  •  Most pediatricians will never outright call you fat.
  •  If they imply that you’re fat, you can cry without feeling embarrassed. (Score!)
  • They have the best Band-Aid’s. Having Charlie Brown on your Band-Aid IS   something to brag about.
  • They’re used to people crying during blood tests and vaccinations.  
 After all this you should definitely go watch Grey’s Anatomy, Scrubs, and House (lacking sex scenes). But whatever you do, do not watch the ones that air during the day (They suck, unless you’re a housewife.). Also I suggest newcomers if you’re a nerd like me, Emily Owens M.D. or The Mob Doctor.

Naive Children

           As children, we all had these perfect expectations for our futures. It’s the utopia that we couldn’t wait to grow up in. You don’t ever imagine things not going your way. All you see is this perfect happiness, modeled from a movie or novel. And that’s what makes childhood special. You learn and see new things and all you want is the best for yourself, because you’re too innocent to know the worst.
            When I was too young to know any better, I only wanted my life to be something like a Disney channel TV show. There would be conflict, but it would always be solved in a 30-minute period, and everything would be perfect again. After all of the problems I would be enlightened by some life lesson, that to many would seem obvious. Unfortunately, my problems don’t have 30-minute life spans.
            I haven’t even really grown up, but looking back now, I am not where I expected to be at sixteen when I was 5. I thought I was going to be extremely popular. That has yet to happen/ I don’t think I really want that to happen. I was supposed to be quite the man’s lady, and have a hot, intelligent, popular, but respectful boyfriend. I haven’t had a boyfriend or nearly as many as I thought I was going to have.  I thought no one had sex until they were married. Boy was I in for a shock! I actually thought sex was the most disgusting act to exist between two people. If 50 Shades of Grey came out when I was little I wouldn’t have been so blind, I swear! I also thought I was going to have a pony. I’m not sure if I would even fit on a pony at my age, but a girl can dream.
            I’m not unhappy with how I turned out, but I wish younger me would’ve been more realistic with the future. I was definitely not ready for the epiphany that hit me once I matured and gained the little life experience that I have. I realized I hadn’t accomplished anything that I had wanted to do by sixteen, which was kind of depressing.  Although, I truly don’t think I would want to be what little me had planned out. I plan to be much more cautious when thinking about what is to come, I won’t be expecting my life to be like Sex and the City when I’m in my thirties (As much as I want it to!).

Arm Shaving

            I firmly believe that women should constantly groom themselves; people in general should groom themselves. But there is one act of grooming I refuse to do. Arm shaving or just arm hair removal in general. Particularly because I am just too lazy to shave my two arms, I already have to shave two legs! Give me a break. But overall, my hatred for this act of grooming is rooted at the fact that this only makes women sabotage other women. Women that shave their arms make me (and other women who don’t shave their arms) look like hairy bastards!
            I recall being with a friend and her mother on the elevator in the Nordstrom’s on 14th street when they started to discuss that they needed to shave their arms soon because their hair was starting to grow back. This was the first time I had heard of arm hair removal being done as a normal act of grooming like shaving your legs. I thought the only people who removed their arm hair were supermodels, or the Kardashians (What do they not do?).  Confused, I asked why they would shave their arm hair, especially since it was so blonde, and hardly noticeable. They looked at me like I had 5 heads, almost in disbelief and in unison said,” Everyone does it! It’s gross not to!” Embarrassed, and becoming increasingly red (my body’s reaction to basically any emotion beside neutral) I laughed and played along like I, myself was an arm shaver. For the rest of the elevator ride I stared at myself in the mirror knowing they would say nothing further once they saw my hairy arms. I stayed in silent horror wishing I had worn something with sleeves that day.
            After thorough research in the American Girls The Care and Keeping of You (only the scariest book a pubescent girl can read) , I realized that not everyone does this, Thank you God!